Upon arriving at your gynecologist for you annual physical, you notice Dr. Hand looks a bit more unkept than usual, and he smells. When I mean he smells; I mean he reeks! Worst thing you have smelled, since that nasty vagina infection you had back in the 80s.
His hair is plastered to his head, and his lab coat smeared with blood, that or he spilled ketchup on himself during lunch.
He kindly asks you to remove your clothing, and you kindly remind him to leave the room first.
Although you feel a bit uneasy, you know how hard it would be to reschedule. So you try to relax. Donning a paper gown, you sit on the exam table. Relaxing is impossible when you notice the waste basket filled with bloodstained clothing.
Calm down, you're just letting your imagination run wild.
When the Dr. returns, you lay back, placing your feet in the stirrups, and scoot down like always. Your mind is racing, and you are practicing calming your breathing so as not to let on, (your completely rattled).
He calmly tells you he will begin with a pelvic exam; he inserts two fingers in your vagina, but you aren't looking so you don't realize he isn't wearing gloves.
Lurching up suddenly when you feel something wiggling inside your vagina!
"What in the hell," you shout.
"Oh, I just hate when that happens," he mutters.
Gasping, you see one of his fingers fell off and is still inside your vagina, thus the wiggling you feel. You feel faint and lay back listening to the pounding of your heart echoing through your chest.
"I guess I'll just have to eat you then," he said.
You just lay there in a stupor, feeling numb.
Num, num num!!
WARNING DO NOT GO TO A ZOMBIE GYNECOLOGIST AS IT MAY BE DANGEROUS TO YOUR HEALTH. I KNOW HIS OFFER TO EAT YOU MAY BE TEMPTING, BUT DON'T DO IT, NO MATTER HOW GOOD IT MAY FEEL AT THE TIME. RESCHEDULING WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THAT BIG OF DEAL WOULD IT?
His hair is plastered to his head, and his lab coat smeared with blood, that or he spilled ketchup on himself during lunch.
He kindly asks you to remove your clothing, and you kindly remind him to leave the room first.
Although you feel a bit uneasy, you know how hard it would be to reschedule. So you try to relax. Donning a paper gown, you sit on the exam table. Relaxing is impossible when you notice the waste basket filled with bloodstained clothing.
Calm down, you're just letting your imagination run wild.
When the Dr. returns, you lay back, placing your feet in the stirrups, and scoot down like always. Your mind is racing, and you are practicing calming your breathing so as not to let on, (your completely rattled).
He calmly tells you he will begin with a pelvic exam; he inserts two fingers in your vagina, but you aren't looking so you don't realize he isn't wearing gloves.
Lurching up suddenly when you feel something wiggling inside your vagina!
"What in the hell," you shout.
"Oh, I just hate when that happens," he mutters.
Gasping, you see one of his fingers fell off and is still inside your vagina, thus the wiggling you feel. You feel faint and lay back listening to the pounding of your heart echoing through your chest.
"I guess I'll just have to eat you then," he said.
You just lay there in a stupor, feeling numb.
Num, num num!!
WARNING DO NOT GO TO A ZOMBIE GYNECOLOGIST AS IT MAY BE DANGEROUS TO YOUR HEALTH. I KNOW HIS OFFER TO EAT YOU MAY BE TEMPTING, BUT DON'T DO IT, NO MATTER HOW GOOD IT MAY FEEL AT THE TIME. RESCHEDULING WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THAT BIG OF DEAL WOULD IT?
1 comment:
Lmfao! That is hilarious!
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