Write a book reader will love

If you're writing a book, why not write one that readers will love.

Write as many point of views as possible, editors love head popping too. Start with having a character know things they shouldn't like what Pete is thinking. I have been known to think I know what someone else thinks, so that can work.

Descriptions: make them as confusing as possible, readers love to stop reading and look up words in the dictionary. Just think how smart they'll think you are!

Neither make it sing or clear. The more confused the reader is the more reviews they'll write. Negative reviews are not always a bad thing. Better yet, have a battle of words with the person that wrote a negative review, it will sell more books! Just think about all the extra blogs that will be talking about you. Free publicity is always a good thing even if it's bad. Right?

Write as many sub-plots as possible. You don't have just one book but four. An introduction of a nonessential  character is always good in the middle of the book too.

Ramble on and on about what color the grass is on one side of the lawn and what color it's on the other, and tell us all in detail why it's like that. That works for Stephen King.

Leave as many gaping holes in your book that a mac truck could drive thru, that spells sequel. Above all, leave more unanswered questions as possible in the end!