Don't let your babies grow up to be zombies, or better yet zombie cowboys.
Sure the picture above doesn't look that bad, right? You may be in denial about the great job your son just told you he found in Texas, well let's say it may be a matter of national security. Uncharted territory (is his thing), and there are plenty of wide open space where he lives now.
The government is as we speak, getting ready for a press statement denying the whole incident as that is (their thing). They keep a tight lip about project Z and will continue to do so, until the enemy is eradicated.
Who is the enemy you ask?
Why shucks that's easy; anything that moves, breaths, gives him the eyeball, stimulates, irritates, or just for the hell of it. He likes to shoot his big gun, (what man doesn't) and loves to eat roadkill, (as long as he's the one killing it).
WARNING ZOMBIE COWBOYS DO EXIST, JUST AS SURE AS THE BIRDS FLY SOUTH FOR THE WINTER. DO NOT ALLOW YOU BABIES TO GROW UP TO BE ZOMBIES. I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY OFFER TO PAY YOU, IT'S NOT WORTH IT. BELIEVE ME I SHOULD KNOW AS MY SON HASN'T BEEN SEEN FOR FIVE YEARS, (ACCORDING TO THE GOVERNMENT) AND WE ALL KNOW THE GOVERNMENT ISN'T THE MOST RELIABLE SOURCE OF INFORMATION.